Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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