I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
