she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
