apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
