i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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