your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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