dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
