At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
