i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
