found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
