I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
