just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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