I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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