Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize