Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
someone threw a dead crab at me
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
You took a bar mat shot.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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