I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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