Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize