You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
