That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
