giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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