apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
