I am in a vortex of obligation.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
