shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
