he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize