I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
