Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
