are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
the raccoons are back...
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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