We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
