Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize