We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
