I can't watch pbs sober anymore
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize