Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
