i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
My liver is preforming stress tests.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize