Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
