Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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