dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
