why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize