He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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