my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
