i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
