She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
