I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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