I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
