i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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