I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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