Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
