Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
