its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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