I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
