Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
