my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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