I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
