Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
