you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
