i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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