The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
