Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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