is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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